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Cornerstone Power Management Integrated Circuit Reaches 100% Efficiency


After decades of intensive research, a group of lackadaisical engineers have successfully designed a PMIC that does not consume any circuit current whatsoever. They claim that it works for all semiconductor processes and is backward compatible with any test and verification procedure. The design's patent is still underway, so they could only reveal so much about their ground-breaking invention.

John Balding, William Chuckly, and Walter Bratteen - the 3 ingenious minds responsible for the innovation, admitted it was an exhilarating moment when they made the breakthrough. "We *hic* don't really know how we came up with the schematic. *hic* It just flowed right in our minds as we drank this Whiskey you gave us earlier this evening. *hic* Sorry, who are you again?" William triumphantly said as I interviewed him at a bar in celebration of their achievement.

The PMIC boasts an absolute figure of 0 uA current consumption, 0 Watts power consumption, 0 Watts switching loss, 0V regulated output voltage, and 0A output current. The trio were reluctant at sharing the reason as to how it achieved these metrics of performance, violently cursing at the Karaoke microphone (Sheesh! I was just asking..). But if I were to rely on my years of verification experience with such products, I'd surmise they came up with a new architecture for the switching transistor. It is plausible they improved on the trigate (3D) transistor Intel developed some few years ago, adding another dimension (making it a quadruple (4D) transistor or something). Of course, this is just a wild hypothesis. Who knows what underlying principle really governs their amazing new product.

As the evening grew late, I asked them how much sales they thought the PMIC would bring to the table, though they responded that they only wanted to be brought home. Assuming they didn't really have a very good estimate yet, I proceeded to ask what they'll be doing with the profits. John, who happens to be a hobbyist, said he'd buy one of those kinky new sex robots and integrate it with Alexa - his A.I. at home, because he was tired of missing out on all the "action". William just shook his head and vomited on the table. Walter, who was careening left and right on his chair, answered that he'd purchase one of those commercial rides to space offered by SpaceX (as soon as it became available), then never come back because he said he didn't want to live on this planet anymore.

As the night drew to a close, I profusely thanked John, William, and Walter for letting me join them. I courteously asked for their wallets and split the bill evenly among us four. As a token of appreciation, I offered to walk each of them to their cars. After all, without their help, I wouldn't have any material to work with this April Fools. 


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